A Royal Invasion
by Rose and Psyche
Summary: "When life gives you lemons...eat 'em." -Shakespeare (April Fools!)
1. April

_Night, the mother of fear and mystery, was coming upon me. _

~ The War of the Worlds by H. G. Wells

* * *

Edmund leaned closer to his computer screen, the static electricity summoning his hair. The light had been turned down and Lucy was drumming her fingers from across the desk.

"Stop doing that," Edmund said distractedly, his mouse clicking.

"What news?" Lucy snapped.

"The internet is almost completely down, but I've finally found a server in Ettinsmoor." Edmund sighed, leaning back.

"Any new reports?" Lucy asked quickly.

Edmund shrugged. "It seems like the western border has been overrun, but we can't verify that. No word yet from King Lune. Did you try calling him?"

"The phone lines have been cut, I can't get through. I've sent out a bat."

"Where's Peter?"

"He's been contacting me from flying horse, but I haven't heard from him for fifteen minutes."

Edmund's hands were shaking. These reports were flooding in like a surge of black water; the dams had been breached, the walls broken. It seemed that all was about to be lost.

"But do we _know_ yet who is doing this?" Lucy's voice broke through his consciousness.

"It seems like the Calormens, the Telmarines, the Seven Isles and the Giants of the North are attacking all at once. It's the biggest invasion we've yet seen."

Lucy's face was very pale. "This is very bad."

"What's that?" Edmund jerked up as a commotion in the hallway echoed through the closed door. The next moment, the door burst open and two young ladies came charging in, carrying sound equipment and cameras and very out of breath.

"You majesties!" one of them gasped, narrowly avoiding braining Edmund with a wooly microphone on a boom. "Can we have an interview? I'm Psyche."

Rose, the other young lady, was quickly putting a shorter lens on her dSLR. A moment later, she was snapping pictures of the dazed royals.

"This is a case of national importance!" Edmund exclaimed, rising to his full height, slightly blinded by the external flash on Rose's camera, "We don't have time for an interview!"

"Can we stay and watch?" Psyche asked nosily. Edmund's hand stole to his sword hilt, but Lucy stiffened and jerked forward. Their heads bumped as they dove towards the computer.

"It's a report from Ettinsmoor," Edmund gasped. "From a highlander named Alisdair."

"He says the frontier forts are falling one by one. The border wall has been breached." Lucy breathed, her face paling.

"What does he mean by 'wee Eddy'?" Edmund demanded suddenly. "It's addressed to 'wee Eddy'. What is he going on about?"

"I think he's referring to you," Lucy said. "He calls me the 'blithe Lassie', that's worse."

"Eddy!" Edmund gasped. "My name is not Eddy!"

"Your majesty," Psyche said, pulling out a notepad. "Can we have a statement on this event? Am I correct that the frontier forts are falling?"

"Where is Peter?" Edmund asked standing up and brushing past both reporters. "He needs to know about this. Have we contacted him?"

"I've been trying to get through to him," Lucy exclaimed. "I'm afraid his flying horse might have been shot down!"

The room was strangely silent but for the quick sound of Edmund's fingers on the keyboard. Light streamed merrily through the high window as Lucy stood up and swept back the curtain. On the castle walls below her animals were rushing every which way. The row of canons on the half moon battery were being loaded and eagles were dashing about with important messages.

"I've just gotten a text from King Lune."

Lucy spun around; Edmund's voice was ominously low as he looked down at his Purple Paisley Pattern iPhone. "What?"

"Cair Anvard has fallen."

A cold hand gripped at her heart and she turned and groped blindly for the edge of the table. Rose, the photographer, had her by the elbow and eased her into a chair. "Do you need a glass of water?"

"Spiced wine would be nice," Lucy managed to gasp.

Psyche was standing closest to the decanter and a moment later she had poured the queen a tumbler full. "Your majesty."

Lucy took the glass, then looked up as the door opened for the second time. Lord Peridan stepped into the room, his face white.

"Your Majesties," he said bowing. "I've just received a report from your royal brother, Peter."

"Then he's all right," Lucy breathed.

"He says you must prepare for the worst. In half an hour, Cair Paravel will be besieged by four armies."

Silence echoed like a drum roll and Edmund closed his eyes.

"By the way," Lucy said suddenly. "Where's Susan?"

* * *

**To be continued…**


	2. Fools

_The crisis of today is the joke of tomorrow._

~ H. G. Wells

* * *

"Where _is_ Susan?" Lucy asked again.

Edmund looked up, his eyes weary. "I don't know, I haven't seen her since the first reports started coming in. Maybe she's with the archers."

"Susan is never with the archers," Lucy said, annoyed.

"Am I to understand that you do _not_ know where your royal sister is at this time?" Psyche swung the microphone in Edmund's face. He pushed it away and stood up, "Someone has to tell her what's up."

Quietly, he slipped through the door. A moment later, Lucy stood up and followed.

Psyche looked at Rose and Rose looked at Psyche.

"We'll have to follow them," Rose said. Psyche nodded, leaning down to collect her sound equipment. Rose already had the camera.

"I'm sick of being reporters," Psyche said, catching the door with a foot as she followed Rose out. "Can we be something else in the next story?"

"You'll have to discuss that with the producer." Rose said laconically, stepping back as a centaur galloped down the hallway. They passed Mr. Tumnus the faun next, hurrying frantically.

"Mr. Tumnus," Psyche exclaimed quickly. "Can we have an interview?"

"What?" Mr. Tumnus started. "No time, no time."

"It won't take a moment." The microphone on its boom swung dangerously close and Rose quickly focused her camera.

"This is Rose and Psyche at Cair Paravel, live from the heart of the action," Psyche said quickly, then turned to Mr. Tumnus, "How did you feel when you first heard the news?"

"Terrible," Mr. Tumnus exclaimed, then brushed past Rose, dialing his MyBirch phone. "I'm very sorry, I've got to go."

"As you can see," Psyche continued, trying her best to look dignified, "The castle is in total uproar. All ready the ramparts are being manned; it's rumored that we'll be under siege in less than half an hour. Right now, we're trying to find King Edmund and Queen Lucy. Unfortunately we have not prevailed upon them to release statements. Back to our producer in the studio."

Rose switched off her camera, "We'll have to run if we're going to catch them."

"Right," Psyche said, bundling up the sound equipment again. "Hurry."

Together the two reporters raced down the hallway. They were both quite tall and looked fairly similar, though one was brown and the other blonde. They dodged through a troop of talking dogs, narrowly avoided several talking horses and finally pulled up to gasp for air as they rushed out the little door that led to the ramparts.

"You all right?" Psyche asked, doubling back.

Rose nodded, bending over. "It's just my asthma."

"There they are, over there." Psyche said, turning.

From where the two reporters stood, they clearly saw a table set up on the ramparts, covered with a white cloth and flowers. Dinner was laid out and sitting at it was King Peter and Queen Susan, both very merry and finely dressed, Peter in a manly red and gold doublet and Susan in royal blue. King Edmund and Queen Lucy stood at the other side of the table, staring incredulously as the fresh spring wind spiraled up from the roses that climbed the ramparts.

"What's this?" Edmund demanded, finding his voice. He barely noticed the microphone Psyche was swinging in his face.

"Sit down and have lunch," Susan said with a laugh.

"But we're about to be attacked!" Lucy exclaimed. "What are you _thinking_?"

"I think the game is up, Susan," Peter said, turning to glance at her with a twinkle in his eye.

"Game?" Edmund asked slowly. "What…?"

"We're not going to be attacked?" Lucy asked, the truth dawning like sunbeams on her face.

"Nope," Peter said, leaning back.

"What happened?" Edmund, dazed, collapsed into a chair.

"Nothing," Peter drawled, "It was all a farce. I really can't believe you were taken in like that. Lord Peridan dabbed cornstarch on his face to make it look white. It was Susan's idea; the rest of us just played along."

"You're not the only one who dabbles in cyber security," Susan said with a smirk. "I shut down all the servers but the one in Ettinsmoor. Of course King Lune was in on it too."

There was a long moment of stunned silence.

"It…was…a…joke…?" Edmund was speaking with effort. "What?... Why?"

"The joke was on us last year, remember?" Susan asked, "It was your turn this time."

Edmund's face drained of color and Lucy suddenly buried her face in her hands, "_Oh_."

Psyche glanced at Rose and Rose glanced at Psyche.

"Sibling love," Psyche commented. "Remember the time I put packing bubbles under the carpet?"

"What about the time you put a rubber band around the sprayer in the kitchen sink?" Rose rolled her eyes.

"'Oh' what?" Edmund demanded, standing up, then sitting down again.

Peter and Susan looked at each other, then back at their sister and brother.

"April Fools!"

* * *

**Author's Note:** Who hasn't heard of H. G. Wells' _The War of the Worlds_? On October 30, 1938, Orson Welles had the bright idea that he would air it on the radio, blow by blow, as if the Martians were really invading the world. It was just two years before World War Two broke out and everyone was tense and on edge. Real, frightening reports had already been flooding in that month; the Nazis had moved over the Czech border into the Sudetenland and Canton had been overrun by the Japanese Imperial Army.

As the radio drama unfolded, panicked listeners called up the radio station and the police, convinced that the world was coming to an end. Others fled to their basements and prepared for the alien gas attacks to begin. What was meant to be a harmless Halloween joke had suddenly escalated into a crises.

Nobody really got over it and three years later when the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor was announced, some people didn't buy it.

Respectfully,

~Rose and Psyche


End file.
